why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
even my farts smell like vagina
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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