yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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