Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I would ride that face into the sunset
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
