I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
