Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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