Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
