Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
