ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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