well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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