then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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