I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
