Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
