You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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