some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
