remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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