Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
