I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I have so many feelings about this burrito
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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