We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
