i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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