is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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