she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
