matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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