what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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