When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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