We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
