I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize