i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
