I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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