Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
