ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
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I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
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Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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