well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
