Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
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we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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