I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
