I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
