From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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