I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
