I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
