I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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