dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
