dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
