My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
