Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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