Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
