Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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