i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
