i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
being pregnant is like rehab
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
