fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
