ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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