you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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