note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
