yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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