i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
