hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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