you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
