That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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