Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
