Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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