Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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