Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The air was thick with penises
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
